• Keonna Shaw

How I Managed to Remove My Mask

It’s unfortunate that people will attempt to predict your future because of your lack. They count you out because of your past rejection, abandonment, abuse, and brokenness. They see you as a woman who has daddy and mommy issues, the woman that’s lame and unpopular. The “girl” that doesn’t fit in. Life wasn’t spoken into you so they expect you not to produce life.

They survey your childhood and make many assumptions not knowing that God has chosen you.

She is ME.

It will be untrue if I said I wasn’t hurt by my dysfunctional relationship with my biological father and mother. My mother birthed me in this world at age 14. At the time my father was 25 with a wife and four children. From conception, I was rejected by him.

Can you imagine the labels that were placed on me at infancy? The turmoil I caused?

Visualize a new teen mom. She did her best at the time, not knowing how to connect and have a relationship with me. Having no clue how to affirm, encourage or talk with me. (which carried over into my NOW)

For a long time, it controlled me and created so much doubt and self- hatred; I felt like a mistake and unworthy of love and time. I felt like something had to be wrong with me. It affected my relationships, especially with women. At times I find myself putting up a guard fearing if I get too close I’ll be rejected. So I stay in my comfort zone — playing it safe.

Guess what? It has not been easy, but I thank God for working in and through me. I am so grateful that I am making progress. My imperfect foundation no longer has a stronghold on me.

With the help of the Holy Spirit, my mind and thoughts are being renewed. I’m witnessing God empower and equip me to do and be who he has called me to be.

Transformation. (Thank you, Lord)

There are levels to my healing, and I’m amazed at how God has restored me. (and he’s still restoring me) During my journey of healing and deliverance, I’m a testament that God will never leave or forsake you.

For everything I’ve been through I’m grateful and realize it was necessary. Every ugly and painful experience, God causes it all to work together for the good of those that love him and are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

7 things I want you to know:

1. There is LIFE in you.

2. After all that has happened to you, it was for a PURPOSE.

3. Your past is not a death sentence.

4. Others will be healed and delivered from your story.

5. Don’t be ashamed to share.

6. It’s a PROCESS, keep moving forward and don’t give up.

7. Healing is for you too.

“No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,” ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭3:13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

( This blog can also be found on Identify Her Daily. A Christian online women's lifestyle and literature publication that explores identity and everyday life stories through various perspectives. )


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